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Random Restaurant Review: The Rib House, East Haven, CT
To the initiated, The Rib House in East Haven, Connecticut is an obvious choice for finding barbecue in a land known more for hearty, New England food, rather than Missouri-style barbecue. We first ate there out of desperation; a need to find killer barbecue on the Connecticut shoreline. Now, when we return, it is with a bit of cheek, a bit of, “wouldn’t it be hilarious if we went to The Rib House” attitude, which is pure smarm on our part, that The Rib House simply doesn’t deserve.
Sure, the population of East Haven is well represented in the staff at The Rib House, with hair piled high on middle-aged ladies, and blank stares on the younger employees. Sure, the wood paneling, dark lighting, and cigarette-burned tables are more indicative of a roadside diner you may have found off the highway 25 years ago. And of course, the low prices, paper placemats, and baskets full of Wet-Naps don’t necessarily inspire the palette. But oh, those ribs.
The Rib House does a few different dishes, including stuffed sole, cheeseburgers, and sandwiches, reasonably well. But at The Rib House, the ribs are the featured players, dominating the middle column of the menu. You can choose between baby back and St. Louis style, with a “regular” size order (about 8-10 ribs) coming in at $14.95, and a large order (goodness knows) at $18.95. Both styles come with your choice of side dishes, including green beans, baked beans, baked potatoes, french fries, mashed potatoes, beets, and more.
We started with the unfortunately-named “onion loaf,” which is kind of like a pile of stuck-together onion rings, served in a “half” or “full” size for one dollar more, and determined by how many battered onion pieces get dumped in the fryer. Last night, the young waiter was very apologetic that there were not enough onions to make a full order, and offered us an on-the-house alternate appetizer, which we declined. The half order was plenty; slabs of the loaf are carved off the block, doused in salt and ketchup, and eaten hot. This is not food that will make you feel good about yourself, but it will make your tongue swell and your brain smile in a mushy, sappy way.
Following the “half-loaf,” we had to get our orders worked out. As near as we can tell, the distinction between “Baby Back” and “St. Louis” style ribs at The Rib House comes down to one thing: gnarl. If you like your ribs dainty and anemic, by all means, go for an order of the baby back ribs. But if you like your ribs thickly-cut, with chunks of just-barely-rendered fat and cartilage hanging off, with a perfect char on the outside, sealing in the sweet-and-spicy sauce and barely keeping the meat from falling off the bone, you are going to need to order the St. Louis style.
The sides are functional; I had a baked potato which was fine, but nothing special, and a cole slaw which was kind of oddly sour. My companions ordered the green beans and the beets, as well, but I wasn’t compelled to try them. I had ribs to get through, dammit, and I wasn’t going to waste my time on vegetables.
The ribs at The Rib House have a tendency to get in your head. When we travel, we often find ourselves thinking about them, and when we return to the area, a trip to The Rib House is inevitable. The deliciousness of the barbecue is just one part of the experience. The reality is, restaurants like The Rib House are getting harder to find, as they get swallowed up by massive chain restaurants, which serve similar dishes, but with their own corporate-sanctioned kitschy decoration, which, in its determination to be “fun,” ends up not being much fun at all.
Compare those street sign and movie memorabilia-filled chain restaurants with the ancient hostess, the slow waiters, the antique order number signals above the kitchen, the stained carpet, and the best St. Louis-style barbecue you’re going to eat in New England. I’ll take The Rib House in East Haven any day.
The Rib House is located at 16 Main Street in East Haven, CT. (203) 468-6695
I am not picking you up unless you GUARANTEE that your suitcase if stuffed with ribs…