dinnercraft | the website for ex-20 year olds » Video

Don’t Bogart the Mother’s Cure….

Tia — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:03:49 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.

From time to time, I run across someone on the internet that tickles my funny-bone in a way that makes me want to throw myself at them and beg “Please! Please be my friend!” Sally Brooks, the comedic genius behind a series of ”Suburban Housewife” rap videos on YouTube is one such person. After stumbling across a link to her Suzy Jenkins “Suburban Housewife” trilogy on Twitter, I was smitten, and have felt the need to propagate the good news with every other long-suffering mommy from the ‘burbs.

Now excuse me while I mix up a pitcher of Mother’s Cure, and scold some little bitches. Scold!

You’re Ugly, and Your Mother Dresses You Funny

Instant Atmosphere: Video Pizza

Malcolm — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:41:19 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.

When throwing a party, having your monstrous flatscreen TV be a big blank, black void seems like kind of a waste. And of course, your friends and family don’t want to be subjected to yet another Apple TV slideshow of your personal photos, or god forbid, a cheeseball Windows Media Player visualization. Why not add instant atmosphere with “The Original VIDEO PIZZA,” an hour long montage of different spinning pizzas, complete with futuristic graphics, scene transitions, sizzling sound effects, and awesome synth soundtrack? The preview clip above should give you the jist, or you can click here to begin your descent into madness.

NomNomNom: Modern Apizza in New Haven, CT

“Weird” Al Yankovic: Eat It

Malcolm — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:09:57 +0000

The song-parody hilarity of “Weird” Al meets the pop genius of Michael Jackson, all wrapped up in food-themed goodness. We can’t think of a better way to mark the loss of a cultural icon.

“How come you’re always such a fussy young man
Don’t want no Captain Crunch, don’t want no Raisin Bran
Well, don’t you know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

No related posts.

Ferris Bueller House For Sale

Malcolm — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 15:57:29 +0000

The “Ben Rose Home” in Highland Park, Illinois, which you may know better as “Cameron’s Dad’s House,” is for sale for 2.3 million dollars. Built in 1953, the famously austere, minimalist home, which is “very beautiful, very cold, and you’re not allowed to touch anything,” consists of two steel and glass buildings cantilevered over a ravine, offering views of the surrounding woods, perfect for crashing your Ferrari 250 California Spyder into.

It’s retro-cool, but assuming you have 2.3 million to throw around, could you live here? Would you really be able to truly sleep and rest in this house, without crashing a car through the garage? It almost seems like that would have to be the first order of business, doesn’t it?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Gone West: My 20s for Sale

Kitchen 4B: Smoked Ribs at Home

Malcolm — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:08:38 +0000

A whole ton of adorable packed into a tiny kitchen: Jill Santopietro, cook and recipe tester for the New York Times Magazine, creates a smoker out of a wok in her tiny New York City kitchen.

A New Way to Peel a Potato

Malcolm — Tue, 19 May 2009 01:37:13 +0000

In a video that makes us simultaneoulsy happy and sad, Dawn Wells (that’s Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island, as she’ll painfully remind you again and again), shows us how to peel a potato in a new way that is either genius or, um, more work than just using a peeler.

New Takes on Potato Salad

Obama Supports “National Hamburger Month”

Malcolm — Thu, 07 May 2009 20:50:49 +0000

May is National Hamburger Month, and President Obama is doing his part. President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden lunch together at least once a week, but usually they eat in the White House. On Tuesday, they took a short drive to Virginia to a small burger joint called “Ray’s Hell-Burger.”

New Burger King Restaurant Prototypes are 100% More Brothel-y

Thank You, Sweden: Squeezable Bacon

Malcolm — Mon, 04 May 2009 15:30:09 +0000

Jillian will be the first to explain that she is “over” what she calls the “cult of bacon.” She will tell you that talking about, thinking about, wearing tee shirts advertising, and celebrating bacon is something we should stop doing; something that should have gone out of fashion with screaming “BAM!” when you add spice to a recipe. Unfortunately, she couldn’t be more wrong. If this disagreement gets serious, it’s good to know that I will always have a home in Sweden. From ThinkGeek:

We’ve been working for months now with Vilhelm Lillefläsk (yes, he still runs the company!) to bring Squeez Bacon® here, and boy are we proud. Why? Because Squeez Bacon® is simply the tastiest bacon food product ever made. Did you know that it’s rumored ABBA met while eating Squeez Bacon® sandwiches? And even IKEA founder Ingvar Kamprad (we’ve heard) never travels without a case! He loves it on his American style meatballs. Ojojoj!

Vilhelm Lillefläsk’s Squeez Bacon® is fully cooked 100% bacon. Due to the patented electro-mechanical process by which Squeez Bacon® is rendered, it requires no preservatives or other additives. Each serving is as healthy as real bacon, and equivalent to 4 premium slices of bacon! You can put it on sandwiches, pizza, pastas, bacon, soups, pies, eat it hot or cold (warm Squeez Bacon® on toasted rye is to die for), substitute it for bacon in your recipes, or even eat it right out of the tube like we do! If it’s edible, it’s better with Squeez Bacon®. In the immortal words of Vilhelm Lillefläsk, “Aldrig kommer att ge dig upp!” Once you get a taste of Squeez Bacon®, you’ll know exactly what he meant.

Granted, $8 bucks a bottle may seem a little expensive, but you’ll be happy to learn that Squeez Bacon has a shelf life of 12 years…so you’ll probably only have to buy it once.

What Your Business Card Says about You

Malcolm — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 14:37:45 +0000

We always have been self conscious about our business cards. Being self-employed, it always just felt a little silly to hand business cards out that had our “company name” on them. Our company is…us. Our job descriptions are very long and complicated, and don’t really conform to any two-word title that would still, ultimately, be just figments of our imaginations. Jillian has found an elegant solution for this. She plans to have business cards printed that simply carry her name. No job title. No contact information. Just her name, simply embossed, on plain white stock. I think it’s elegant and brilliant.

Now that I have found MEAT CARDS, I am thinking I might steal the idea, and make it more delicious. From their website:

We start with 100% beef jerky, and SEAR your contact information into it with a 150 WATT CO2 LASER.

Screw die-cutting. Forget about foil, popups, or UV spot lamination. THESE business cards have two ingredients: MEAT AND LASERS.

Winter Eating: Our Favorite Beef Stew

Sending a Stripper to Your 10-Year Reunion

Malcolm — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 19:36:19 +0000

Via ABC News:

Cricket told the reunion attendees that she’d had reconstructive surgery and also suffered from amnesia. It wasn’t completely unbelievable, because some had already heard that the real-life Wachner was in an accident after high school — her car was totaled and she had been injured, but she had never suffered from amnesia.

Most of them had not seen or talked to Wachner since high school, but many found her new profession suspect: Cricket as Andrea said she was working as a stripper to help pay her graduate school tuition.

Daniel Wolowicz, 32, who had been an acquaintance of Wachner’s in high school, said he was immediately suspicious.

“She was just so different. You have to understand the community we had come from,” he said. “Everyone was questioning who this person was.

“I had asked her a very specific question about seeing her at a bat mitzvah when I was 15 years old,” he said. When Cricket answered his question correctly, Wolowicz said he assumed it was Andrea or “someone else who had been given a lot of information.”

It would be awhile, however, before he learned the full truth.

As the night progressed the drinks flowed, and Cricket, always outgoing, was getting ready for the climax of the evening: a striptease performed to what Cricket described as “one of the worst songs of the ’90s,” Lisa Loeb’s “Stay.”